What a busy month it has been. Despite us still mourning the loss of our beloved wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend, we must push on with life, we must continue to make memories, and we must continue to find happiness in life's little moments. There was a blogger named Sarah Turner (Memories on Clover Lane) that Autumn has followed since Briley was little. I feel like her an Autumn had so much in common in how the approached life, faith, and family; they both cherished “ordinary days” and the little things in life. Sarah was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in 2016, beat it, and then it came back in 2023. Sarah and Autumn traded encouraging emails over the summer, and sadly Sarah passed a month before Autumn. There was a quote from Sarah that Autumn loved and clung to during her fight: “There is always light. Some days, weeks, or years, we just have to look harder, but in the end light always wins.” Our days are sprinkled with sadness, but the normal and happy moments outweigh the sad moments. She will always be on our minds, but she wants us to be happy.
Baylor had his first track meet the evening Autumn passed. One of the first things he said to me when he got home that morning was that he still wanted to run his track meet that afternoon for mom. This boy has his mothers soul and determination. He crushed it, winning the mile race and getting a PR, coming second in the 800 by 1 second, and winning the medley relay with his team. I have a picture of him running the mile with one of his best friends running beside him down the final stretch cheering him on and the entire team in the background cheering him on. Our family that had come into town also came out to cheer him on. I could feel Autumn shining down on all of us. He has not beat that time, so I joke with him that mom was pushing him along on that one.
We had planned on a family outing to the Sporting KC game at Arrowhead against Miami and Messi. We bought tickets months ago and the kids were super excited. When Autumn passed I really did not feel like going, but I could feel Autumn pushing me to take the kids...plus the kids were not going to be denied. We tailgated with the Cleavers and friends and ended up having a good night. It was bittersweet to say the least, but it was an experience we all enjoyed. Messi scored a goal and had an assist.
Briley had a big month. She had her first prom and her 17th birthday (more on that in another post). Back in January Briley and Autumn went back to Kirksville for Kelsey’s baby shower. While they were in town they picked out Briley’s prom dress up at Shawn’s Bridal and Formal Shoppe, where Autumn got all of her prom dresses’ and wedding dress. Briley had a crowd of relatives watching her try on dresses; Autumn later told me that in that moment, with all those people there supporting Briley, she knew our kids were going to be alright if she passed. The dress was beautiful, and words cannot describe how beautiful Briley was in it. She is a natural beauty, but on prom night she really kicked it up a gear…just WOW. Her sweet date was Mathew Bell who is also Caroline and Jared’s next door neighbor. They looked perfect together and I think they had a fun time. We did pictures down at the Nelson Atkins, they then did dinner at Blue Hills Country Club before heading off to prom. She had a great night, and loved getting all dolled up.
Finley had her highly anticipated dance competition the same day of prom. Aunt Amity came to the rescue and went into dance mom mode, she was a natural. Because of Autumn’s illness and passing, Finley had missed a number of dance classes. Amity reached out to the studio, explained the situation, and they sent her a video so Finley could practice at home. They sent instructions on hair and makeup and thankfully Amity was able to handle that, because there is no way dad could…she might have looked a little scary. Finley’s class killed it in the competition, they looked so good. She so badly wants to do competitive dance, but she also wants to do all the other sports, so there is just not enough time in the day.
Yesterday we celebrated our first May Day without Autumn. It was also the 20th anniversary of when I proposed to Autumn on her mom and dad’s porch with a May Day basket. Autumn grew up taking May Day baskets to her neighbors, and it was a tradition she handed down to her children. I thought it would be an emotional day but while there were some tears, it was a happy day. So many people were embracing this tradition in Autumn’s honor that it brought much needed joy to my heart. The day before, I took a big bouquet of flowers out to Autumn’s grave so that she had some fresh flowers for May Day. Caroline and Jared were nice enough to tag along and brought me some flowers for the kids and I to make our May Day baskets for the neighbors. The day started with Finley’s friends surprising her in the morning with breakfast and a May Day basket of handmade flowers, it was the sweetest. She was so happy and then was able to walk to school with her friends. That afternoon, Finley and Atticus hurried and delivered all 18 May Day baskets before I had to take them to Church. Everyone seems to come outside at this time of day, so they had to be super sneaky to get them delivered without getting caught. Being a German Holiday, our lovely German neighbor down the street signed up to bring us dinner that night, so we feasted on some delicious bratwurst, potatoes, and German streusel cake. She loved that when we moved into the neighborhood, she started getting May Day baskets again, so when she saw that May 1st was still open on the Meal Train, she knew it was a sign.
Spring has been a busy time for sports. Briley elected not to play school soccer this year, and instead focus solely on track, which we thought would lighten up the schedule a bit. However, Baylor has added two sports and is now running track and playing soccer and flag football. Finley is doing soccer and dance, while Atticus is playing soccer and baseball. Our weekdays and weekends are pretty much spent running to games and practices but right now busy is nice. We have so many friends and family members that have stepped up to help us, and we could not be more grateful as there is no way I could do it on my own. The spring sports will be wrapping up over the next couple weeks and it looks to be a much lighter schedule this summer. Really all we have is Atticus in baseball and Finley in swimming. Briley has the big Shawnee Mission North Relays Friday night and Finley has a sleepover with the penguins at the zoo Friday night for a birthday party…such a cool idea. The Cleavers are coming into town for a soccer tournament so we are going to do Top Golf with them Friday night for Brights birthday before heading up to Pella on Saturday morning for Tulip time.
I also included some pictures from Autumn's first meeting back in February with her newest nephew Seger. How has this adorable little kid not made it onto the Blog yet? I will blame Autumn and there is nothing she can do about it. He has made a few visits and is the sweetest little boy. He has the best guardian angel watching over him the rest of his life.
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